Egypt Glossary

Before I continue to recollect my time in Israel, I am going to publish an informative glossary-like guide to Egyptian English.

Friend


The best single word translation for this term is "sucker."

If he calls you "friend," however, he is probably one of the following:

1) An overcharging hashish dealer
2) A desperate hashish addict
3) A shop owner who is either greedy or short on change
4) An artist who will make you something personalized and then try to make you feel guilty for not buying it.
On account of these people, I've been taken for about $70 US. Egyptians who don't call me "friend" include the managers of the hotel in Cairo and the owner of the internet cafe I'm typing at now. The owner of the internet cafe returned my camera to me after I left it there. The owners of the hotel charge $5 a night and don't care if you take a shower after you've technically checked out. Friends in Egypt are interesting. I used to say, "they pretend to be your friend, and then they cheat you." But I'm pretty sure that, for many Egyptians, your friends and the people you cheat are one in the same.

If an Egyptian does not call you "friend," he is probably a solid, legit guy.

I Don't Care About Money
Many Egyptians will say this. It means that they will eventually ask you to buy something once you're no longer afraid of them.

Welcome
In Egyptian English, this means "welcome," but it also means both "Hello" and "Get over here!" Most Egyptians say this as soon as they notice you are a foreigner. Young children, however, have learned that "Hi" or "Hello" is a more common greeting. It's not uncommon to be greeted by a mob of "welcome"s from people over the age of 20, or to be greeted by a mob of "hi"s from people under the age of 20.

Where from?
I used to think this was a friendly greeting, but people will chase you down while shouting "Where from!?" I'm pretty sure it means, "How badly should I rip you off?" A restaurant owner ripped me off by about 5 bucks (a lot in Egyptian money, considering that a full meal can cost $.75) after I told him I was Canadian, so I have no idea how much it would've been if I'd told him I was American.

Cool Egyptians may ask you this question too, but it's tough. One guy who I thought was cool immediately tried to get me involved in a massive hashish deal as soon as I'd answered the question. It seems like such an innocent question but it has proved to be a bad omen a surprising amount of times.

First time in Egypt?
This means almost the same thing as "Where are you from?" except I think it would be best translated as "Can I get away with ripping you off a lot, or just a little bit?" If a cool Egyptian asks you this, it definitely won't be the first question they ask you.

But with many people, it will be the first question they ask- sometimes it actually precedes "Where from?" or even "Welcome, friend!" In general, if someone cares whether it's your first time or not, they probably want to rip you off.

You don't understand my culture.
"Don't leave, I want to rip you off, and I'm not afraid to play into your white liberal guilt."

I have no problem with Israeli people.
Unfortunately, so far, this one also means, "I want to rip you off." A dude who works at the internet cafe I'm currently sitting at told me "Israel is why there's no peace here," and I told him it's much more complicated than that. I started Bush-bashing and that made him happy. He charges me less than a dollar an hour for the internet. Every time an Egyptian says, "Israel is OK," I want them to be cool, but most of them have tried to rip me off within minutes of declaring their lack of hatred for the Jewish country.

The guys who work at my hotel have been notable exceptions. They started talking about Tel Aviv and how cool it is when they saw the stamp in my passport. These guys are solid and totally legitimate.

I walk with you.
This one usually means, "I want to show you my perfume shop." Keep in mind that Egypt has about as many perfume salesmen as it has mosques. If an Egyptian offers to walk you somewhere, they will most likely walk you to their perfume shop, whether the place you've asked directions to is a museum, a pharmacy, or a hotel. The museum, pharmacy, or hotel is also most likely "closed." It rarely actually is.

Baksheesh.
This means, "I want money for nothing." In Coptic Cairo, a police officer (or possible military officer, I'm not sure which he was) pointed me in the direction of the synagogue (yes, there's a synagogue in Cairo, and it's very nice. of course it's just a museum now). He didn't even really point to it, he pointed toward a wall of another building. He also said something incomprehensible in Eng-rabic. Then he said, "baksheesh." I asked him how much and he said "20 pound." That's more money than a full meal costs anywhere but inside a hotel.

On the train from Luxor to Cairo, I shared a 3-seat first-class compartment with an awesome old dude from Oklahoma named Keith. The conductor said, "No three person" (Meaning: "There will be no third person joining you"). We acknowledged him and sprawled our legs out. "Baksheesh," the conductor said. We realized the guy wanted a tip for there not being a third person in the compartment. "You had nothing to do with that. I think the ticket seller did that," Keith said. "Twenty pound," the conductor said. We said, "no," and endured a good minute of an awkward stare until he went away.

Nobody who's actually doing you a service will ask for baksheesh. (A girl who gave me a tour of a mosque said in advance, "the tour is free, but I want baksheesh." I don't really count that because it was more or less a standard exchange of money for a service. She just worded it awkwardly.)

Save your money for people who deserve it, ie the people who sell you good services and products, because in Egypt, you can find plenty of good things for low prices and plenty of nice people who deserve your foreign cash. There just happened to be enough manipulative people to provoke me into writing a blog entry about them.